he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
