Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
