someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
