I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
