Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
