wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think my mom watched the whole time
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
