i was rollin on her like bob the builder
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
