38 yer olds are good kisserssss
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
