VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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