Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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