508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
