You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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