I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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