why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
