ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
