I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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