Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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