After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
