go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize