Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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