Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
