I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
