Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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