Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
