Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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