pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
as a side note pls kill me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
