Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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