Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
