So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
