Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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