I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
