someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
