I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
