SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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