What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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