you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
