Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
