You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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