you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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