And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
