the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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