he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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