I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
operation harelip BJ is a go
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize