You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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