I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
