i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
