Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
