i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
