Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
