Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
