I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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