Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
