Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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