its not stalking. its research.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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