On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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