halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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