is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
