found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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