so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
