We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
