We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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