6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
