While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
