So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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