girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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