I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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